blahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Hello everyone! I hope everyone’s doing well. I’m doing fine over here, although things have gotten kind of rocky. First of all, I went to Jordan last weekend, which was really fun, but kind of hectic. A lot of people to see and stories to catch up on, so I didn’t get much sleep and I ended up getting a really bad cold that I’d been fighting off. My trip back to Nablus was also kind of hectic because it was Saturday, shabat, so one border was closed and I had to go up north to the other border, then the taxi guy tricked me into giving him more money because he said I hadn’t given him enough and of course, being too trusting, I believed him. So I didn’t have enough money to pay the exit tax and get out of Jordan. I was trying to give him my left over Lebanese and Syrian bills that amounted to about a dollar and a half, but they didn’t want those. Luckily a guy helped me and just made me promise I would call him the next time I was in Jordan. So I finally got through the Jordanian and Israeli borders after being questioned about why I was carrying a Quran translated into German with me (I bought it for my roommate). But I convinced them that I was just a tourist wanting to go to Tel Aviv and that I would definitely not be going to “the territories”. But after all that, I came out of the building looking for a taxi or bus to Nablus and not only were there none, but there were no cars at all, once again, because it was Shabat and this border is in Israel, which I hadn’t realized. So I asked someone to take me to the nearest town, and he dropped me off at a deserted bus station saying that he thought there would be a bus to Jerusalem later in the day. So I waited and read Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya sisterhood and luckily, a bus did come. I was so sick by then that I passed out and was probably snoring and sniffing and hacking phlegm up for the whole bus to hear. I got to Jerusalem, at some Thai food and showed up at a hostel hoping they had rooms. I left early the next morning, still feeling really crappy and got back to Nablus by 9am. I was so happy to be home and ready to have my two classes and go to bed, but I got called into the office for a “chat”.
Ok, now I’ll back up and start at the beginning of this mess that I got myself into. Last week at my class of 7th graders at the Balata Refugee Camp UN Girls School, the girls started off the class by asking me if I was a Muslim. I said, no, I’m Christian. They were curious and asked how Christians pray. I just put my hands together and said, like this and sometimes we kneel down in church. Then they showed me how they pray, and told me some things about Islam. One girl read a section from the Quran and we talked a bit about how they learn to read from the Quran (because they read in a melodic way). Then they asked if I thought Jesus was the son of God. Now, it’s easy to say I’m Christian when we’re talking generally, but when people ask specifically what I believe, I find it harder to lie, because I don’t believe that Jesus is God. So I skirted the question and said, yes, people do believe he is the son of God. The girls all started yelling, that’s not true! There’s only God above all else, he has no son or family because he’s God. So I told them to quiet down and said, ok girls. If you’re going to be in a discussion with people who believe different things, you can’t yell at them. If you think you’re right, you need to explain to them why because if you yell and tell them they’re wrong, they won’t want to listen to you. So they all said they understood, it was just that they love me, so they want me to go to paradise. I said ok, and continued the class on a different subject. After the class I felt pretty good about the talk we’d had because it was more interesting than going over fruits and vegetables and I felt like they understood what we talked about, which doesn’t always happen. But, the next class their English teacher said that the kids went home and talked to their parents about what we’d talked about and the parents had complained that I was talking to their kids about religion. So she politely asked me not to talk about religion or politics again. I apologized and was a bit embarrassed, and we went on with the class. So then I went to Jordan and came back and here we are again the morning I got back. My boss sat me down and said that all of my classes in Balata Refugee Camp were cancelled because the parents stormed the school saying that I was trying to convert their kids to Christianity and that the program was in a lot of trouble because of it. In my head I said, at this point in my life, I’m probably closer to being a Muslim than a Christian, but I sat there and let him finish. The head of the Balata schools came to him complaining and they forbid me from going to Balata again. I assumed that after I explained the conversation we had had, he would realize that this was a misunderstanding, but he’s kind of a hard-ass, so he just said, use a little common sense. So I hadn’t slept much in a few days, had had a long travel back from Amman, I was sick and I had been up since 5:30am. I was not on top of my game so much. So after apologizing multiple times for causing him so much trouble and forcing him to give all the volunteers a rules sheet, I left the office, sat on some back stairs and cried a bit while I ate a banana. Then I went to my other class, afraid to say anything at all and feeling like everyone in the town was talking about how there was a foreigner in their midst trying to convert their children to Christianity. I went home and passed out and didn’t wake up until my roommate came in and said she had baked a cake for me. They thought I had holed up in my room all afternoon because I was so sad about what had happened, not just because I was really sick, so, knowing me better than I thought, they lured me out of bed with cake. So, that’s the end to a long story about how a 20 year-old girl from Iowa got kicked out of the biggest refugee camp in the West Bank. I still feel pretty shitty about it all and all of this combined with the perfect spring weather makes me really not want to teach anymore, but after having my other classes again that are just as good as they were before, I feel less like a witch in Salem that the whole town is talking about. So, that’s the update for now. I woke up this morning with a great idea to try to make applesauce. Also, the circus is going well. I’m learning lots of new juggling tricks. My Arabic is also improving more than I thought it was. I dreamt in Arabic last night! Broken Arabic, but it was still Arabic. Hokay, I have to go make some worksheets. I love you all and have been missing you so much lately. I’ll send you some of this perfect, perfect weather that makes me want to roll around in the grass and run really fast without stopping, and you please send me some courage to keep stepping into my classrooms even though I’m a bit nervous about what I’ll say this time. And send everyone open-mindedness. Hokay, have a good week! Byeeee!